Finding a therapist can feel surprisingly complicated.
You search online and see therapist profiles, specialties, credentials, therapy approaches, prices, insurance information and availability.
Then comes the hardest question:
How do I know which therapist is right for me?
You don’t need to find the “perfect” therapist on your first try.
But there are a few things worth considering before you book.
The American Psychological Association notes that credentials and competence matter, but personal comfort and rapport are also important parts of choosing a psychologist. (American Psychological Association)
Here are nine questions that can help.
1. Does this therapist work with what I’m experiencing?
Start with your reason for seeking therapy.
You might be dealing with:
- Anxiety
- Trauma
- Relationship problems
- Stress
- Grief
- Family concerns
- Major life changes
- Emotional overwhelm
- Communication difficulties
You don’t need to have a diagnosis.
Instead, look for a therapist whose experience aligns with what you want help with.
The APA recommends asking potential therapists about their experience treating concerns similar to yours. (American Psychological Association)
2. Is the therapist appropriately licensed?
Credentials matter.
Before starting therapy, confirm that the provider is appropriately licensed to provide services where you’re located.
This is particularly important with online therapy because your therapist needs to be authorized to practice in the state where you are receiving care.
If you live in Texas, Ohio, California or Michigan, make sure the therapist you choose is available to provide care in your state.
3. Does their therapy approach make sense for my goals?
Different therapists use different approaches.
Some may focus on cognitive and behavioral patterns.
Others may work with trauma, relationships, family dynamics or specific experiences.
You don’t need to become an expert in every therapy approach.
You can simply ask:
“How do you usually help someone dealing with what I’m experiencing?”
A good therapist should be able to explain their approach in language you understand.
4. Do I feel comfortable talking with this person?
This question matters more than people sometimes expect.
Therapy involves discussing personal experiences, emotions and concerns that you may not feel comfortable sharing with everyone.
That doesn’t mean your therapist needs to feel exactly like a friend.
Professional boundaries are important.
But you should feel reasonably comfortable asking questions, expressing concerns and being yourself.
The APA specifically identifies personal comfort and rapport as important considerations when choosing a psychologist. (American Psychological Association)
5. Does the therapist understand my circumstances?
Your experiences are shaped by more than symptoms.
Culture, family, identity, relationships, work, parenting, finances and other parts of life can influence how you experience stress and relationships.
You may want a therapist who understands particular aspects of your background or life circumstances.
It’s okay to ask about that before booking.
6. Does the schedule work for me?
A therapist may be an excellent fit on paper, but if their availability doesn’t work with your life, continuing care can become difficult.
Think about:
- Weekday availability
- Evening appointments
- Weekend availability
- Frequency of sessions
- Virtual appointments
- Your work schedule
- Childcare
- Travel time, if applicable
TES currently notes that several therapists have openings as soon as the same week and that evening and weekend appointments are available. (The Empowering Space, PLLC)
Availability can change, so it’s still worth checking the current schedule.
7. What will therapy cost?
Cost is an important part of choosing care.
Before booking, ask:
- Does the therapist accept my insurance?
- What is my expected out-of-pocket cost?
- Are lower-cost options available?
- What happens if I don’t have insurance?
- Is there a cancellation fee?
You should feel comfortable asking these questions before beginning treatment.
8. What happens if we aren’t a good fit?
Sometimes you start therapy and realize the fit isn’t right.
That doesn’t mean therapy doesn’t work.
It may mean you need a different therapist, approach or type of support.
NIMH notes that if someone has been in therapy for a reasonable period and isn’t improving, it can be appropriate to talk with the therapist about what’s happening and consider other professionals or approaches. (National Institute of Mental Health)
A good therapy practice should make it possible to raise concerns without feeling like you’re doing something wrong.
9. Do I actually need to choose the therapist by myself?
Not necessarily.
This is where therapist matching can make the process easier.
Instead of opening dozens of profiles and trying to decide who seems right, you can start with the things you already know:
What do I need help with?
Where do I live?
Do I want individual, couples or family therapy?
Do I prefer video or another type of session?
The Empowering Space’s matching tool uses information such as what you need support with, your location and your preferred session type to help you find therapist options. (The Empowering Space, PLLC)
What if I choose the wrong therapist?
You can change therapists.
Therapy is a collaborative relationship, and fit matters.
You may realize after a few sessions that you need someone with different experience. You may prefer a different communication style. Your goals may change.
That doesn’t mean you failed at therapy.
It means you’re paying attention to what you need.
TES specifically states that if the therapeutic fit isn’t working, clients can let the practice know and receive help finding someone else on the team. (The Empowering Space, PLLC)
What should I ask during a first conversation?
If you’re unsure what to say, try:
“I’m looking for help with ______. Do you have experience working with this?”
You can also ask:
“What approach do you usually use?”
“Do you offer virtual sessions?”
“Do you accept my insurance?”
“How often do you typically recommend sessions?”
“What happens if I don’t feel like we’re a good fit?”
You don’t need a perfect script.
You just need enough information to decide whether continuing the conversation feels right.
Start with what you already know
You may not know exactly what diagnosis you have.
You may not know which therapy approach you need.
You may not even know which therapist specialty applies to your situation.
That’s okay.
Start with what you do know.
Something is bothering me. I want support. I want to find someone I can talk to.
The Empowering Space provides virtual therapy throughout Texas, Ohio, California and Michigan, with individual, couples, family and trauma-focused options. (The Empowering Space, PLLC)
